I was so exhausted the other day that I fell asleep with my clothes on — shoes and all.

If you are the parent of a medically complex child, I’m sure you understand how this could happen — how the physical and emotional overwhelm that accompanies the ups and downs of parent/caretaker life can exhaust you so deeply that you grasp for rest whenever and however you can get it.   

This particular exhaustion was brought on by my daughter Pearl’s latest health issues.

Pearl is diagnosed with cerebral palsy, and she had bilateral hip surgery several weeks ago. Three weeks after the surgery, it became apparent that Pearl’s leg was potentially infected. After sending a picture of her incision to her surgeon, we had to drive 90 minutes to the hospital in the snow, sleet and freezing rain.

Thankfully, a full-blown infection was averted. Instead, there were a few sutures stuck deep in Pearl’s leg that did not dissolve like they were supposed to. One very brief — and very painful — procedure later, and Pearl was ready to go home with an excellent prognosis.

When we returned home, the culmination of the events – the stressful drive, the worry, the helplessness of seeing your child in pain, the overall hospital-ness of it all – had completely worn me down… so much so that I welcomed that fully-clothed sleep.

During times like this, which happen in the life of every parent of a child with complex challenges, how do we stay whole?

There is one technique I have been personally using, which takes just 15 minutes each day. (Even after you pass out with your clothes on, you still have time for it!) And it’s this:

Find three positive things, even in the most difficult of circumstances.

It’s always possible to find three positive things in your life, no matter what is currently happening — and focusing on these three things can have a serious impact on your psyche.

I first heard of this practice on the new podcast The Science of Happiness, in an Episode calledThree Good Things led by Dr. Dacher Keltner, founding director of the Greater Good Science Center and professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. Here is the method (with my personal spin on it):

#1: Set a timer for 15 minutes and try to stay focused for this time.

Flip your phone to silent mode, turn off your TV and other noise, and try to avoid being interrupted. This simple investment in yourself will pay massive dividends.

#2: Come up with three good things that happened that day.

Use a journal, a piece of scrap paper, or a computer to write them out and give them a name.

How did I find good things in the day I just described? Let’s just say they do not have to be big. The first thing I came up with is that we stopped at a gas station in Wilmington, and they sold Berger cookies from Baltimore. Berger cookies are awesome; they are a blonde cookie smothered with fudge. Enough said.

Another positive from my day was that Pearl stood for the first time in three weeks. She needed a lot of support and it only lasted a moment, but it gave me hope for the future.

Find your three moments of happiness and write them down.

#3: Describe how you felt in the good of those three moments.

How did you feel while they were happening? How did they change your attitude or your next actions?

Don’t worry about your writing – this is just for you. You don’t need to edit your work or endlessly elaborate on your descriptions. Just write about what you experienced and how it made you feel.

Finish by reading what you wrote. If you are in a relationship with someone with whom you are comfortable being vulnerable, consider doing this together and then reading your words to each other.

Training your brain to focus on the positive parts of an experience rather than the negative can become a habit with some effort — so try it for at least one week because it takes time to work. It is certainly a simple but meaningful method of adjusting your attitude and enhancing your life – even on those days when you are too tired to take off your shoes before bed.

Now it’s your turn: how do you handle the stress of parenting a child with complex challenges? Add your thoughts to the comments below, or over on Facebook.